Emprise Review

>What exactly is a life history?

Posted on January 25, 2011. Filed under: Emprise Review, personal essay, Sam Bell, United States, writing |

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Nuria Ruis @ Posi+Tive Magazine/

Sam Bell imagines his memoir inside and outside the writing assignment @ Emprise Review

This paper is DUE in person, typed, in hard copy, and double-spaced on Wednesday, September 8th, at the beginning of class.

The assignment: What makes your own life history significant and interesting? What events, decisions, places, conversations, or moments have shaped your identity?

What exactly is a “life history?” Is a life lived with recklessness and shame a life history? Is a life history a collection of events that I can see vividly in my memory? Am I seeing my grandmother’s above-ground pool right now as a point of solace from my past? Do I smell fresh nectarines when I think about my grandparents’ log cabin because this scent distracts me from another time, when the stale stench of a one-bedroom apartment full of ash, Gatorade, and Little Debbie snack wrappers littered a dirty floor?

Sometimes, I think of my life history and I feel unconquerable. I see the hammer’s steel head coming at me, handled by a former lover. Then I see my father falling down steps, grass stains on his work pants, and I think, I can’t take care of anything. Sometimes, I see my life history as a paralysis. I see my two-year-old self cowering behind the tan drapes as Benson the Poodle goes after my ice cream cone. I see my mother’s beautiful face as she stares at herself in the bathroom mirror, a glass of chilled white wine in her delicate hand. Sometimes, I don’t see me at all.

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